My First Bike Ride (by Sarah, age 7)

Do you have any feedback for Sarah on her finished piece of writing?

“You can do it!” I hear as the grass swishes. The wind is blowing so hard and everyone is crowding around me. My mum and dad say, “You can do it, Sarah!”

All my brothers are whistling. I am thinking, Should I do it or should I not?

The wind blows hard at me, making my mouth water so fast. My fingers are frozen and I begin to shake. I wobble…and then my arm hits the hard, bumpy ground and starts to bleed. Tears cover my face.