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From Mrs Marshall & Room 14

Thursday 20 September 2012

On the Diving Board (by Brenna, age 7)

Do you have any feedback for Brenna on her finished piece of writing?


Come on, Brenna! You can do it!

Waves crashing on the water, people hitting it with their feet as they jump in.

I don't want to do it!

As my feet feel the board, I bend to touch it. My toes squeeze onto the board like sponge. I'm about to faint and my tummy hurts with prickliness. 

I think I'm going to die!

I see people, like skittles, falling and jumping off, not feeling the same as me at all.

So I go to the end and....I jump! Splash! 

That wasn't so hard after all!

1 comment:

  1. Brave girl Brenna! A fantastic descriptive piece of writing.
    You're a lot braver than Mr Bean.
    Gillian

    ReplyDelete