Do you have any feedback for Shamus on his first draft?
The lifejackets and a pink and black donut sparkled in my eyes. Waves crashed into the rocks and the boat's motor rumbled in my ears. The smell of petrol was rotten in my nose.
As I walked onto the donut, people smashed and crashed into the edge. I shook as I hopped on the donut.
The boat started up and then crash. My Mum patched me up then helped me get back on again, but I could see a big rock right ahead of me as I jumped onto the donut.
Then my legs raced to the car.
"Did you have a good time?" asked Mum.
"No," I said.
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