Bungy Jumping at the Fair (by Gracie, age 7)

Do you have any feedback for Gracie on her draft so far?

One day, Mum, Dad and I went to the fair. When we got there, I saw the mini bungy jumps, and my legs thundered over to them. 

I said, "Mum? Dad? Can I go on the bungy jumps?"

"Ok," they said, "But just one turn."

I got ready and hopped onto the trampoline. I saw the people around me doing flips and somersaults. They looked like they had done this before, but it was my first time. I could feel myself wanting to be like those people, but I had never seen anything like this before. 

Next, I could feel the rubbery trampoline gripping onto my feet. Then I felt myself in the air. Like a bird in the sky. But then I started to wobble and I couldn't stop! 

"Mum! Dad! What's happening to me?!"

The person who ran the bungy jump saw me wobbling and asked if I wanted to keep going.

"I'd like to hop off," I said. 

I felt frustrated that I had to hop off. I had really wanted to keep on going. 

I'll have a go NEXT year....