Grabbing our Audience's Attention

In Room 14 lately, we've been starting to really think about writing in a way that grabs our audience’s attention. We are learning to choose words and sentences to help us paint pictures with words. That way, the audience will feel like they were actually there!

We are experimenting with writing story beginnings that have real audience impact. So far, we've tried out a couple of writer strategies…..

(1) Using WOW (descriptive) Words that focus on what our senses experience can help our audience feel like they were actually there. Like this:

Sizzle! Pop! went the burning sausages and delicious smelling burgers. My teeth sunk into the best burger of all…                                                                            Bronson (age 6)

Arrh! The crowd went crazy, blowing off my ears! The hot, salty chips burned my mouth, making me eat more, more, more.                                                             Brenna (age 6)

The sweet smell of cupcakes filled my mind as I watched people bowling. I felt the weight of the ball as I carried it. I heard it rumbling across the floor, sounding like an earthquake.….                                                                                              Jack (age 6)

(2) Also, using different sentence lengths (some shorter, some longer) can help us create impact with our words. Here are a couple of examples:

The damp and dirty clothes smell crawled into my nose. It smelt old. Very, very old.                   

Gracie (age 6)

You won’t believe what I saw with my eyes! There were midget aliens. Nobody can see them. Just me. That’s my secret.

Bronson (age 6)

YOU are our audience! Do you have any feedback for us? How are we doing? WHAT do you like and WHY?

"ROOT WORDS" by The Exclamation Marks

The Exclamation Marks are a writing group made of 6 children who are becoming awesome writers! Last week, we learnt that good writers edit their writing. Why? So it can be the best it can be. This week, we have been working on root words, as this can help us in our spelling. Next week, we're focusing more on bringing our writing ALIVE!


Our Audience: Anyone who wants to get better at spelling or who is interested in what we learn.  
Purpose/Reason for Writing: To teach others what we've learnt about root words.

Today in our small group writing session, we focused on a spelling rule that will help us in attempting words we need in our writing. Spelling is an important tool to help us express ourselves clearly.

Taylor said "I used to spell WANTED as WANTID because it sounded like an "i". Now I can spell it correctly because I know to look for the root word WANT and to add the -ED ending."

Grace said: "I have been learning about root words today. Like in LOOKED or LOOKING, the root word is LOOK."

Brenna said "I know that if you think about and write the ROOT WORD first, you just need to add the ending onto it and you have had a pretty good go at spelling a word you don't know!" 

Kaia said: "ROOT WORDS are the smaller word that bigger words are made from. Root words can be made into new words by adding endings like: -ed, -ing, -er, or beginnings like: in-, un-." 

Bronson said: "I found out that LEARNED is not spelled LERNT! It has the root word LEARN, so it's spelt LEARNED."

Shamus said: "I now know that if you don't know how to spell a word like PLAYED and it has a root word that you DO know (like PLAY), you just add -ED. I used to spell PLAYED as PLAYD! Now I get it!"

These are words we use LOTS in our writing!

LOOKed sounds like "lookt", but it isn't!
LISTENed sounds like "lisind", but is isn't!
WANTed sounds like "wontid", but it isn't!
PLAYed sounds like "plade" or "playd"  but it isn't!

What We're Reading in Room 14

 

TITLE: A Shark Tooth Bay Holiday in the Life of Ozzie Kingsford

AUTHOR: Val Bird       ILLUSTRATOR: Rebecca Cundy      GENRE: NZ Contemporary Fiction

Are  you enjoying this story, Room 14? 

At Beach Ed (by Sean - 7y)

Sean in the water

At Beach Ed I learnt what to do when I am at the beach. 
I built a sandcastle. 
We had lunch at the playground. I had a sandwich, an apple and biscuits. 
I went in the water. 
I learnt lots at Beach Ed. 

Beach Ed (by Taylor - 6y)

Yesterday, I went to Beach Ed.

Playing Octopus

We played the game Octopus in the sand and we had a sandcastle competition. I made a cupcake castle out of sand, seaweed, sea rocks and seashells, because I thought it would be really nice.

When we went in the waves, we had a wonderful time. It was fun!

I like Beach Ed so much!

Beach Ed (by Maia - 6y)

Yesterday, my class went to Beach Ed, and it was fun.

Making Our Sandcastle

We made a sandcastle and it had rocks and holes.

After lunch, we went swimming. It was fun. 


We had turns about on the boogie boards.

Beach Ed (by Lewis - 6y)

At Beach Ed, we played “Seaweed” tag on the beach.

Me and Jack went boogie boarding. We ran to another wave, and when we got cold, we went out of the water and back to the Lifesaving Club. 


We talked about some pictures and played Hangman there. We also played Sunsmart Sam. He wore shorts, a long-sleeved top, sunglasses and a hat. He held a drink bottle and sunscreen.

I wish you could have come!

Beach Ed (by Noah - 6y)

Yesterday, I went to St Clair Beach. When I got in there, we watched a movie. It was about safety rules. After the movie, we played a game called “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?”

Do you like my jellyfish?

I went to the playground for lunch, and everyone got to play then we got undressed to go to the beach and play in the water. I made a jellyfish in the sand. 


After that, we went back to school.

Beach Ed (by Grace - 6y)

Yesterday, Room 14 went to Beach Ed. 

Room 14 watching the movie

The lifeguard told us how they save people then she showed us a movie about people. It was funny! The man gave his son a metal surfboard and it was too heavy for him. The dad got on the surfboard and he didn’t watch out for the people. He went between the flags with the surfboard and he wasn’t meant to.

After that, we had morning tea and played on the playground. I played on the swing.  


Later, Ella was “Sunsmart Sam”. She put on clothes and she looked funny because they were far too big for her. She had shorts on, and a top with long sleeves. She has sunblock in her hand, and a drink bottle.

After lunch, we went down to the beach to go for a swim. I drank the water and it was yuck! 

We learnt some very important stuff from the lifeguard. 

At Beach Ed (by Jilles - 6y)

We went to see the lifeguards and we watched a video about signs on the beach. 

Making our sandcastle!

Then we were making sandcastles. I think ours is the best! 


When we went in the water, I was with Hunter. We jumped over waves, big waves. 

After that, we got changed and walked back to school. 

Beach Ed (by Sarah - 6y)

Yesterday, we went to Beach Ed. I will tell you about it.

We walked to St Clair Surf Club and went into the changing rooms to put our bags and sunhats in there. Then, we went into a room and Zoe the lifeguard was there. We watched a movie that helped us be safe at the beach.

After than. Zoe put numbers to 10 on the board and we had to think of the 10 Surf Safety Rules. One of them was “Swim between the flags”. When we finished, Mrs Marshall chose two people – me and Jack – and we played “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” We had to go up the front and say the rules without looking. When I was about to say “Swim between the flags”, Jack said it!

Jack and me trying to remember the rules

After we had finished, Ella came up and we played “Sunsmart Sam”. Then, we had to see who could say “Slip, slop, slap, wrap in the summertime” the fastest. Mrs Marshall, Gracie, Jack and Lewis’ Mum came up to try. I thought all of them were quick!

Next we had lunch and after a while we went to the changing rooms. We got into our togs, then Taya gave me her boogie board to use in the water. Then we finally got into the water!

Beach Ed (by Taine - 6y)

Yesterday it was Beach Ed. 


Lifeguards keep people safe at the beach. When we went into the water, we learnt to be safe there. 

Me and Noah digging our hole!

After lunch we went into the water. I learnt to swim between the flags.  
Noah and me dug a hole and we found some water. 


I felt happy at the beach.

Beach Ed (by Hadlee - 7y)

Yesterday, we went to Beach Ed. 
Ella dressed up as a lifeguard. Erica and me dug a hole and the waves splashed into the hole. 
My favourite part was going in the water. You have to swim between the flags.

Going in the water 

Going to Beach Ed (by Ryan - 7y)

That's me in the green top. I am between the flags!

On Monday, Room 14 went to Beach Ed. We got to play in the playground and I went down the slide.
At Beach Ed, I learnt that when you are in the water, you have to stay between the flags. If you don't, you might get stuck in a rip.
We swam in the water and I went up to my belly-button.
I like Beach Ed because I like going in the water.

Going to Beach Ed (by Ella - 6y)

Yesterday, Room 14 went to Beach Ed. My mum came, too.

We built sandcastles and went into the water. My group build a house out of sand, and Taine and Noah dug a huge hole.

I wanted to dress up as a lifeguard. I wore a shirt, shorts, shoes, a hat, sunglasses, and I had water and sunblock.

It was so amazing at Beach Ed.  I want to go there again!

Sun Smart Ella!

Making Graphs (by Room 14)

Room 14 learnt about graphs by investigating the colours of m&ms in different packets. We now know that not all packets have the same colours in them!

We learnt that graphs are like stories - they have a title, and you can "read" them and learn things from them. In making our graphs, we developed many skills: collecting data (m&m colours), making a tally chart, displaying our data on a bar graph and discussing what our graphs showed.  We also practiced taking turns, team work, being good speakers and learners.  And, yes, at the end, we got to share out our m&ms!

"It was hard work but lots of fun" said Room 14.

Sorting out the m&ms into colour groups.

Creating a tally chart to show how many of each colour we had.

Transferring our data to a Bar Graph grid.

Taking turns.

Discussing our graph and what it shows.